In the year 2081 everybody is finally equal. And if they're not, the Handicapper General equips them with devices to make sure they are. George Bergeron has to wear a heavy bag around his neck because he is too strong and has a mental disrupter earphone that blasts loud noises in his ear anytime he thinks too long. "That one sounded like a grand piano going off a cliff," he tells his wife, Hazel. She, on the other hand, is perfectly average, and that is why George loves her so. Unfortunately for the couple, they had a perfect son, who was taken by the government immediately. Hazel remembers fondly her Harrison but not for too long because she can only think in short bursts. George is afraid to think at all for fear of getting another ship's whistle blast in his ear. Full of eccentric characters, such as George, Hazel and ballerinas weighted down with bird shot, this wild tale is full of Vonnegutisms. And everybody is made equal. Or so says the Handicapper General. Area staging.