BRENDA FREELANDER - A third runner up in the nationals, eighteen years ago, now she runs her local pageant. A study in surface perfection and just-below-the-surface neurosis, Brenda is an ex-prom queen who lost a contest once and will never stop trying to make up for it. Underneath her smiling and poised fluff, Brenda is made of steel.
BIG BOB FREELANDER - Her husband and head judge of the pageant. The town's favorite son, he owns a local RV dealership and his every free moment is devoted to some form of community service. He's the Henry Fonda type: brave, clean, reverent and means it. A sincere and unashamed flag-waver whose flag is this pageant.
DALE WILSON-SHEARS - National Chairman of the Young American Miss Foundation. A large, impressive, self-satisfied corporate leader with the suspicious charm of a television evangelist. He's in the charity business, but he's in the business, make no mistake.
TED FARLEY - The pageant emcee. He ought to do game shows, or run for president. A big old silly, but a professional.
TOMMMY FRENCH - The choreographer. He's a professional, but he's cynical, tough minded, and practical.
CAROL - Doubles as MOTHER in Prologue
WOMAN #1 - Robin's Mother, Louise, Woman Judge
TONY - Doubles as a parent in Prologue and a Judge
MAN #1 - Photographer, Ed, Daddy, Musical Director, Janitor, Judge
ROBIN - Dark, sensitive, smart. She is attractive without trying to be, honest, down-to-earth, and questioning by nature. She senses that she doesn't quite belong here.
DORIA - Blonde, Southern, and obsessed. She needs badly to win something...anything. Perhaps to make up for the things that are missing in her real life: friends, self-respect, family.
SANDRA-KAY - Redhead. Pretty but not too pretty, smart but not too smart, talented but not too talented. The type that usually wins.
MARIA - Mexican-American. She tries harder. She has to.
SHAWN - A bit of a Valley Girl. Spoiled, gorgeous, competitive, and prejudiced.
VALERIE - Shawn's confidant
KATE - Doubles in Act II as JOANIE MARSHALL, last year's winner
And nine other girls in the pageant of varying shapes and sizes
LITTLE BOB - Son of Big Bob, 11 years old. He has all of his dad's charm and none of his integrity.
FREDDY - Little Bob's nerdy sidekick.