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Rumors (Neil Simon) - Full Length Play, Comedy

Rumors (Neil Simon)

Neil Simon

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Full Length Play, Comedy

5m, 5f

ISBN: 9780573691607

"Light, frothy and fun." - New York Post

"Has nothing on its mind except making the audience laugh." - The New York Times

"Neil Simon makes people laugh-a lot!" - USA Today

"Not only side splitting, but front…

More Information Below:

Description | Characters | Author | Now Playing | Reviews
: Acting Edition
: Large Print
: Stage Manager

Minimum Fee: $125 per performance

Mandatory Music/Media Fee: $15 per performance


Full Length Play



Time Period - Contemporary

Settings Of Play - A house in Sneden's Landing, New York. An evening in June.


Interior Set


Alcohol, Gun Shots, Strong Language


Adult, Senior


College Theatre / Student, Community Theatre, Professional Theatre, Large Stage


From Broadway

At a large, tastefully appointed Sneden's Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though only a flesh wound, four couples are about to experience a severe attack of Farce. Gathering for their tenth wedding anniversary, the host lies bleeding in the other room and his wife is nowhere in sight. His lawyer, Ken and wife Chris must get "the story" straight before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and mis-communications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity.
"Light, frothy and fun." - New York Post

"Has nothing on its mind except making the audience laugh." - The New York Times

"Neil Simon makes people laugh-a lot!" - USA Today

"Not only side splitting, but front and back splitting." - NBC-TV

Rumors premiered at the Old Globe Theatre (San Diego, California) on September 22, 1988.


5m, 5f

KEN GORMAN – (40) A well-to-do lawyer. Wealthy, but by no means pretentious. Takes 
charge of the situation. Married to Chris. Halfway through the show, a gunshot causes his 
temporary deafness. 
CHRIS GORMAN – (mid-30’s) Another lawyer, married to Ken. Beautiful, easily flustered. 
Frantically tries to maintain normalcy at the party. Has recently quit smoking, which 
drives her to drink a bit more. 
LENNY GANZ – (Late 30’s, early 40’s) – A wealthy accountant, distraught over the recent 
destruction over his new car. Starts the show with an extreme case of whiplash. Intolerant 
of the gossipy-lifestyle that he is often involved in. 
CLAIRE GANZ – (Late 30’s) – Claire’s wife. Very concerned with appearances (hers and 
others’). Starts the play with a swollen lip. Likes to gossip. 
ERNIE CUSACK – (Early 50’s) – a psychiatrist. Affable, smokes a pipe. Loves his wife very 
much. Tries to be as helpful as possible cooking the evening’s dinner. 
COOKIE CUSACK – (40’s) – has her own cooking show. Suffers from extreme back spasms. 
Loves her husband very much. A bit absent-minded at times. 
GLENN COOPER – (30-40) A handsome man running for State Senate. Worried about his 
own reputation. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair 
(which he may or may not be). 
CASSIE COOPER – (late 20’s, early 30’s) Glenn’s beautiful wife. Obsesses over her 
husbands’ relationships with other women. Quick to anger. Must rub her quartz crystal to 
calm herself down. 
OFFICER WELCH (M) – (30-50) – A city police officer having a rough night. Does not 
tolerate lying. Sees through the “classy” façade that these high-society types put up. 
OFFICER PUDNEY (F) – (20-30) – Welch’s partner. A strong but silent type.
Neil Simon

Neil Simon

American playwright and screenwriter Neil Simon is widely regarded as one of the most successful, prolific and performed playwrights in the world. In addition toLost In Yonkers, which won a Tony Award and Pulitzer Prize, his plays and musicals include Come Blow Your Horn, Little Me, Barefoot in the Park, The Odd Couple, Sweet Charity, The Star-Spangled Girl, Plaza Suite, Promises, Promises, Last ... view full profile

Now Playing
Steven R Franco [W] 9/4/2014 10:33 PM
The hysterical dialogue in this show bounces around like a super ball in a rubber room! Mr. Simon's grasp of the English language and its' nuances are on display in this well written and wickedly funny play. Well defined character and bizarre situations make this show a definite crowd pleaser.
Robert Williams 5/27/2014 12:42 PM
Great comedy for young and professional actors.  Very attainable even at the HS level with some language changes.*

*Samuel French Editor's Note: Language changes are not allowed in the work of Neil Simon. All plays must be performed as written.
Greg Nowlan 3/6/2014 4:17 PM
Fast, funny and frenzied. I laughed out loud just reading it. The Climactic monologue, when performed is a definite crowd pleaser.

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