Uncle Clete's Toad

A scream and barking interrupt Uncle Clete as he has his morning coffee with his parakeet Wendell Willkie. His wife has just discovered an enormous toad on the bathroom scale. He puts it out in the yard, but next morning there it is again. He can't get rid of it, and finally marks it with lipstick to be sure it's the same toad. At last, he puts it in a bucket and takes it to the county line, but he is foiled by the sheriff who wants to know why he has a toad wearing lipstick in a bucket. This funny vaudevillian mediation on the nature of reality and toads is part of the Pendragon series. In Tales From The Red Rose Inn & Other Plays.