PA UBU - Aspiring despot. Captain of the King’s RETROGUARDS and confidant to the good KING WALMARTICUS. UBU covets the Crown of Petrolandia and all the fast food he can eat, which is quite a bit.
MA UBU - Wife to PA UBU, aspirant to power and wealth, ruthless, flirtatious, and the cleverer UBU.
CONSCIENCE - PA UBU’S better half, who he carries around in a trunk that is rarely opened.
CAPTAIN MACNURE - Conspirator with PA and MA UBU, advisor to PA UBU. Object of MA UBU’s desire and ultimately a turncoat, for various good reasons.
KING WALMARTICUS - The not so wise King of Petrolandia.
QUEEN - Wife of WALMARTICUS, besieged by omens.
BOOGERLESS - Prince and rightful heir to the throne of Petrolandia. Earnest; an aspiring hero in quest of justice, but will he find it? Apparently, it’s all in the searching.
W.C. LATRINE a.k.a PISSALE - A television “star,” obsessed with the body, with his own fame, and his “ward” ELEUTHERIA.
ELEUTHERIA - Niece and ward of W.C. Latrine whose parents died in a mysterious accident, in love with CORPORAL PISSOFF and an aspiring hip-hop ballerina.
CORPORAL PISSOFF a.k.a THE EARL OF PINOT GRITIO - In love with ELEUTHRIA and head of a Squad of FREEMEN AVOCADO PIT SOLDIERS.
JUDGE BETTY - Presiding no-nonsense Judge in the UBU trial, focused on her lunch hour and, secondly, the after-work Happy Hour.
UBU ROY II - Machiavellian long lost brother of PA UBU.
Other characters include: NEWSCASTERS, SOLDIERS, JURY, ATTONREYS, STAFF, CHORUS, CONVICTS, CROWD, CAMERA PERSONS, GUARDS.