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I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever - Musical Revue / Cabaret, Comedy

I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever

William Boswell, Joyce Stoner, Karen Johnson

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Musical Revue / Cabaret, Comedy

3m, 3f

ISBN: 9780573680700

Music and Lyrics by Joyce Stoner
Original book concept by Karen Johnson
Additional Music, arrangements, and additional book material by William Boswell
"Tonic effect is marvelous. Fresh as a daisy, sharp as a tack and as funny as it is fast." - The New York Times.
Six hopeful actors audition to be in a musical revue in New York City at the original Improvisation comedy club.

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Description | Characters | Rental Materials | Author(s) | Reviews
: Acting Edition
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Musical Revue / Cabaret


Parody / Spoof

90 minutes

Time Period - 1970s

Settings Of Play - Designed for a small stage - six actors can just fit in a line beside the piano. Each of the six actors has two costumes - black tie and evening dresses and then street/audition clothes appropriate to the 1970s. The original set featured six three-dimensional letters that formed the word "REVUE" and were used as stools, etc.


Bare Stage/Simple Set

Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes, Period Costumes


Mild Adult Themes


Appropriate for all audiences


College Theatre / Student, Community Theatre, Dinner Theatre, Professional Theatre, Shoestring Budget, Blackbox / Second Stage /Fringe Groups


From Off-Broadway

Sometimes called "the junior Chorus Line" this is the story of six hopeful actors auditioning to be in a musical revue in New York City at the original Improvisation comedy club.

'The Roommate Beguine,' 'My Place or Yours' and 'I Hate Football,' consider romantic dilemmas, and the group effort, 'Where Would We Be Without Perverts' indicates that the town would lose its color without 'em.

"The six personable singers march in wearing evening garb.  They then become auditioners for a show-within-a-show, simulating two theatre innocents, a couple of roommates, and an unlucky married couple.  Before the show ends, they and Miss Stoner have merrily satirized the aches, pains and dreams of young theater hopefuls, sidelined by love and sex and the everyday theatre of life in New York and more... The tonic effect is marvelous. Fresh as a daisy, sharp as a tack and as funny as it is fast, this 90-minute show is the best mini-musical in town" - The New York Times

"The subject matter takes digs at this neighborhood in which the cafe is located and takes a look at present morals and mores and finds both worthy of comment." - Variety

"Wholesome and charming and thoroughly good natured ... clever." - New York Daily News.

"She'll come up with lines like 'roommate, dustpan-and-broommate' and she'll rhyme 'coinage' with 'sirloinage' . . .  Sweet as a kiss on the first date." - New York Post

"The show was bright and breezy and the closest New York has come to having a socially conscious revue" - Saturday Review

"Joyce Stoner is a lady of formidable musical and comedic talents, and she has effrectively channeled these gifts by writing a bright and kaleidoscopically funny revue entitled I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever... This insouciant look at show business, politics and the changing mores of our times is a keen frolic. . . . Even Christopher Day Marches can't compete with the effectivenes of the disarming number 'It's Great to be Gay,' and New York living is beautifully summed up in the witty 'Joys of Manhattan Life.'" - After Dark

I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever opened Off-Broadway at The Improvisation in New York City on October 31, 1974. It was directed by Joyce Stoner.


3m, 3f


Ensemble cast


No Chorus

GABRIELLE SCHWARTZ - a clueless hopeful who carries a guitar and has written an inappropriate country-western-type song for her audition; the accompaniment is actually played on her tape recorder
HEATHER O'MALLEY - a more experienced actress who lives with her gay friend Dan Craig
JONATHAN WINSLOW - a hopeful from the Midwest; all smiles and a suitcase with all the contents stolen except his tap shoes.
TED THORNTON and JENETTE MORRISON - uncomfortably married and often feeling that they jinx each other at auditions
Rental Materials


Piano Only


Classic Broadway



Piano/Conductor Score
William Boswell

William Boswell

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