LUKE JAMES - 25-30; likeable; enthusiastic; hopelessly incompetent. A CIA agent on his first field assignment. We are left to wonder how he ever got the job. He gets caught in his own booby traps, he walks into walls, he sets fire to the kitchen, he gets a bucket stuck on his head, etc. In short, if there's a wrong way to do something, he'll find it! He continues to repeat throughout the play, "I can do that!" but, in fact as Margaret says, "He really can't do anything."
DANIEL WARREN - 50-60; competent, a "tough guy" with a quick, dry wit. Daniel introduces himself as a retired Marine Corps Sergeant. In fact, he is a mercanary hired by OPEC. He is "all business," and quickly realizes how easily he can handle Luke James. Possessing a sharp southern wit, he is never at a loss for words, especially when he repeatedly catches the Reverend Samuel Abernathy in compromising situations. Pursued relentlessly by Margaret, he manages to remain professional, and complete his assignment.
MARGARET JOHNSON - 35-55; attractive; determined; a "sexual predator." She is an Assistant Secretary of State, she is a professional, and as we would expect, good at her job. However, it is the other side of Margaret, which brings her character to life. She appears to be run by her libido. Never subtle, Margaret relentlessly pursues Daniel throughout the play. Despite his repeated rejections, she will not take no for an answer. Ever resourceful, she continually finds new ways to entice him into her bed.
THE REVEREND SAMUEL ABERNATHY - 50-60; arrogant; bombastic; but never-the-less, sincere in his beliefs. A quintessential television evangelist, complete with white linen suit and pompadour hairstyle. He tends to "talk down" to people and is constantly preaching. Eventually however, we see he does not always practice what he preaches. Throughout the play, he constantly misinterprets everything he sees and hears, until finally, he is left totally and thoroughly confused, and presents himself as a rather pathetic figure.
MILLICENT - 25-30; shy; frumpy; compassionate; then finally, "a bombshell." The Reverend Samuel Abernathy's secretary. She is correctly referred to by Samuel as "an innocent". She is dowdy and unglamorous, in fact, "A Plain Jane," who makes no attempt to improve her appearance. It is only when she finds herself attracted to Luke, that we see what is perhaps the real Millicent. After taking a seduction lesson from Heather, she emerges from her shell, in one of the plays most hilarious scenes.
HEATHER ANN FARADAY - 30-35; glamorous; sexy; smart; has a great sense of humor. Introduces herself as the neighbor from the next cabin, but she is, in fact, Daniel's partner and fellow O.P.E.C. agent. She plays the role of the Chagos Islands Representative with competence and a great deal of Panache. Although a mercenary, she shows a kind and sympathetic side when Millicent asks her for help.
RANGER DON - Unassuming; competent; business-like. He is, in fact, Donna Yarid, the real representative of the Chagos Islands, Disguised as a man. A brief role, but one, which at the very end of the play, holds the key to the entire plot.