A SAMUEL FRENCH, INC. TITLE

There's a Burglar in My Bed

Full-Length Play, Comedy  /  4w, 3m

Michael Parker

"The laughs come thick and furious." - Boynton Times

"Parker's best." - Palm Beach Post

There's a Burglar in My Bed

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  • Cast Size
    Cast Size
    4w, 3m
  • Duration
    Duration
    120 minutes (2 hours)
  • Audience
    Target Audience
    Adult, Senior, Teen (Age 14 - 18)

Details

Summary
William Worthington III and his wife are both going to be away for the weekend from their two hundred acre Massachusetts estate with its twenty six bedroom mansion, he to Delaware to shoot ducks with the Duponts and she to her mother's in Boston. Both have, in fact, arranged trysts with their respective lovers in the estate's beach cottage. Inevitably their paths cross and divorce is in the air. Neither is willing to give up the world famous Worthington necklace, so each devises a plan to steal it. True to the laws of farce, both simulated burglaries are scheduled for same night. Fun filled chaos ensues: mistaken identities, unlikely romantic liaisons, a bumbling private detective, a fake necklace, one very determined nymphomaniac and two scantily clad pseudo nuns sharing a single skirt. "Where did they come from?" Confusion is piled on confusion until the mystery of who has the real necklace and who has the fake is revealed in a surprise ending.
History
There's A Burlgar In My Bed was first produced at the Naples Playhouse, Naples, Florida on November 30, 1994.
Keywords
Performing Groups

ASHLEY WORTHINGTON - 35+; scheming, cold and calculating, yet with a tender side, wife of William W. Worthington III, typical New England "aristocrat" 
EDWARD P. BROOKSTONE ("Teddy") - 40+; weak and shallow, but nevertheless quite cunning, Ashley's lover, and a man who would never allow himself to fall in love with someone who wasn't extremely wealthy
WILLIAM W. WORTHINGTON III  ("Billy") - 40+; kind and gentle, yet clever and manipulative, grandson of one of America's great industrialists, always conscious of his station in life, finally reveals a sharp mind and strength of character
LARRAINE DuVAL ("Buffy") - 25+; gorgeous and seductive, self-centered and determined, Billy's young and glamorous lover; money, position and power seem all-important; personal relationships are secondary
WILLIAM DAVIS - brash and overbearing, so totally incompetent he becomes likable; how he succeeded in becoming a licensed private investigator is a mystery to all who know him
DEBORAH DuVAL - 25+; pretty and personable, but not a rocket scientist, willing and cheerful, displays a tender compassion
MARIANNE VAN KLEEF - 25+; beautiful, sophisticated and sensuous, but not cheap in any way, a New England socialite; she would be hard for any man to resist, and, as we see, none of them do

  • Time Period Contemporary, Present Day
  • Features Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes
  • Additional Features Physical Comedy
  • Duration 120 minutes (2 hours)
  • Cautions
    • No Special Cautions

Media

"The audience LOVED it. I've never heard such sustained laughter and experienced such audience buy-in in the theatre at the Kirkwood Community Center in the decades I've been seeing Guild performances there." - Laura Kyro/ KDHX.org

"The laughs come thick and furious." - Boynton Times

"A hilarious lampoon." - Naples Daily News

"Parker's best." - Palm Beach Post

"Just how good is the script, when the cast never seem aware of the hilarity of their lines." - Ambience Magazine, Naples Daily News

"This modern day farce touches on adultery and divorce, is loaded with humor, and many unexpected twists." - Boynton Times

Music

  • Musical Style N/A (Not a musical)
  • Vocal DemandsN/A (Not a musical)
  • Chorus Size No Chorus

Licensing & Materials

  • Minimum Fee: $110 per performance

Scripts

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Authors

Michael Parker

Michael Parker

Michael Parker (1935-2019) was active in the theatre almost all his life. At age 14, in England, where he was born and raised, he won the title role in a regional production of Terence Rattigan’s play The Winslow Boy, for which he received a Best Actor of the Year award. By a ...

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