ETHEL KENT - private secretary, capable and wise
GINGER - telephone receptionist
JUNIOR DOVER, JR. - film producer. Young, brash, always on the edge of disaster
CARMEL MCGREGOR - an aspiring screenwriter
SYLVIA METROLAND - Hollywood's leading film reporter
CHUCKLES LAFOON - funniest lady in show business, or else!
BRONCO WHINNY - a cowboy star protective of his "image"
APASSIONATTA ABALONE - a forgotten old-time star. Only the films have gotten smaller, not her "talent"
MRS. BUMBLE - a "stage mother" and financier
BABY BERNICE - her obnoxious "child star" daughter
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER - works for a channel with "a direct line to the stars"
WINIFRED LUNG - a drama coach
PLATO VOLTAIRE - a hack director, convinced he's a genius
MAID - works for Gee-Gee
GEE-GEE FONTAINE - gorgeous actress. Body of a goddess, voice of a mouse
GRETA GUTT - Hollywood's touchest agent
BOB EVERLOVE - America's "Boy Next Door," if the boy next door is a fathead
SALLY - a film enthusiast
PAULINE - another
MAP SELLER - a Hollywood institution
TOURIST GUIDE - another
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - helps Voltaire
CAMERA OPERATOR - film crew member
SCRIPT PERSON - film crew member
FLINT WORMWOOD - macho type, specializes in police roles
THEO BARTOK - star of horror films
MAKEUP ARTIST - film crew member
MUSICIAN - Apassionatta's "mood-setter"
EXTRAS - tourists, fans, servants, etc., as desired