MRS. BAKER - The head of a self-appointed taxpayer's watchdog committee.
DR. TWIDDLE - A temporary principal of Millard Fillmore High School.
MISS. HARRIS - A young, pretty drama teacher and former actress.
C.B. - A budding student director.
AVIS - C.B.'s girlfriend.
CELESTE - The 'femme fatale'.
BEEF JERKY - The cocky, egocentric captain of the football team.
DUMPTRUCK KLUTZMANN - A not-too-bright football player.
MR. GALLAGHER - A young investigator of the State Superintendent of Public Instruction.
REPORTER - A member of the local press.
MRS. CUNNINGHAM - President of the P.T.A.
MRS. BRUMPY - Literature teacher at Millard Fillmore High School.
MISS. F-STOP U.S.A. - Representative of the motion picture industry.
MRS. TWIDDLE - Dr. Twiddle's wife.
FIRST MOTHER - Member of the P.T.A.
SECOND MOTHER - Another member of the P.T.A.
HOLLY, IVY, NOEL, WALLY, CHESTER, BRYAN, EUPHEMIA, BETHULIA, HERBIE - Students in Miss. Harris' drama class.