by Michael Green
Short Play, Comedy / 9m, 3f
Contained in the volume Four Plays for Coarse Actors in which the plays are presented as parodies of four dramatic styles.
- No Special Cautions
- Minimum Fee: $45 per performance
- Time Period: Contemporary, Present Day
- Duration: 30 minutes
- Setting: The drawing-room of the D'Arcy Manor.
- Additional Features: Physical Comedy
- Features / Contains: Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes
- Musical Style: N/A (Not a musical)
- Vocal Demands: N/A (Not a musical)
- Chorus Size: N/A (Not a musical)
MR. D'ARCY - This middle-aged part could be played by someone in their early twenties, as an obvious exercise in miscasting.
MRS. D'ARCY - She merely got the part because she was the only one with a front room large enough to rehearse in. Since she can't disguise her "common" accent, she out to be playing the part of the Cook, but demanding something better.
HUBERT - (their son) He remains motionless throughout the play and stares with fixed gaze at the audience, rocking on his heels. He speaks as if hypnotized and reads most of his lines from a crib inside a cigarette case.
THE MAJOR - His concet of a Major is based on something he saw in a Hollywood film. Thus he wears a monocle - which nearly blinds him - and sprinkles his lines with extra exclamations such as "By jove!" and "What?".
THE CORPSE (HENRY) - Normally, this will be played by a dummy, unless you have someone in the company whose head will come off.
JAMES - Modelled on Quasimodo, both in make-up and stance. Speaks something like Bernard Miles as Long John Silver. A one-character man and this is it.
THE COOK - Very little is known about the Cook, since she spends most of the play with her cap rammed down over her eyes. A refined, middle-class lady, she speaks with a ghastly attempt at being working-class. Could be played as a maid.
THE VICAR (RUPERT) - The archetypal villain, with rolling eyes and black beard.
SERGEANT - Although the actor playing this part has been cast in twenty plays, he has yet to appear on stage. At the point of his entrance, he will be in the pub next door. In this revised edition he is actually allowed to appear (five minutes too late). This is optional.
PROMPT - The personage is listed under the Cast as she will form an important part of the performance of the play. At moments of stress it may even be necessary for her to appear in order to make her point to the actors. At the very least, her hand, waving a script, should appear around the edge of the scenery.
- Reduced casting (Doubling Possible)
- Flexible casting