No One Loves Us Here

by  Ross Howard

Full Length Play, Dark Comedy  /  3m, 2f

Central Valley, California. When the Native American Washington is invited to stay in the Beaumonts' guest house, Mr. Beaumont thinks he'll get one thing from the arrangement. But just as Mrs. Beaumont avidly tends to her front yard, so Washington decides to do some pruning himself.

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No One Loves Us Here

by  Ross Howard

License Estimator

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  • Cast Size

    Cast Size

    3m, 2f
  • Duration


    90 minutes
  • Audience

    Target Audience

    • Adult

Additional Info

A contest for territory, No One Loves Us Here is a black comic portrait of love and obsession, the aspiration of displaced youth and a crumbling white collar class.

British playwright Ross Howard is an Edward F. Albee Foundation Fellow. FRISKY & THE PANDA MAN was a winning finalist in the Samuel French Off Off Broadway Short Play Festival 2013.

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"Howard’s great accomplishment is creating a skewed world that’s entirely consistent and self-contained.. . . amoral yet compelling characters, Seinfeld-like but with even more nastiness; tight-lipped commentary on the explosive potential of family dynamics; and subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle comedy just the right length and pace, this compact play ought to find a welcome on a bigger stage." - Blog Critics

"Like a bored 19-year-old burning ants alive on a summer’s day, No One Loves Us Here takes a magnifying glass to an already disintegrating notion of white class and laughs as gleefully as Bart Simpson .... congratulations to Ross Howard for playing me like a violin the entire length of the play. " - OnStage Magazine

" move quickly and the climactic ending doesn’t disappoint. While the black comedy paints a bleak portrait, it certainly entertains and delivers surprise and humor along the way. " -

"Howard’s new work illustrates the characteristically 21st Century sentiments of unbridled selfishness, feigned apathy, and perennial discontent. His pointed, political indictment of our skewed American values is simultaneously too hard to watch and too illuminating to ignore. No One Loves Us Here is an entertaining, engaging bloodbath that leaves its audience thinking lots and feeling little. Perhaps this is as it should be." -

"Howard and his director, Jerry Heymann, have a talent for weaving a disturbing yet beguiling theatrical spell. " - StageBuddy

“This intelligent, well acted play, was a mind bending thriller with twists at every turn... No One Loves Us Here is a comedic, dark bloodbath of the carnage that once was the delusional American Dream and it deserves a longer run.” - Times Square Chronicles


Going Stateside: A Photo Diary of NO ONE LOVES US HERE
by Courtney Kochuba
January 20, 2015


Performing Groups

  • College Theatre / Student
  • Community Theatre
  • Professional Theatre
  • Blackbox / Second Stage /Fringe Groups


  • Artboard 3 Gun Shots
  • Caution Strong Language Strong Language

License details

  • Minimum Fee: $90 per performance



  • Time Period: Present Day
  • Duration: 90 minutes
  • Setting: A living room in a house in the Central Valley, California


3m, 2f
WASHINGTON, 19 years old, of Native American descent
MR BEAUMONT, 37 years old
MRS BEAUMONT, 32 years old
JACK, her father, 57 years old
AMBER, 32 years old
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Ross Howard

Ross Howard's work has been seen in London (Theatre 503, Old Vic Tunnels, Upstairs at the Gatehouse, Riverside Studios, Menier Gallery, Old Red Lion, Park Theatre, Finborough Theatre, Canal Cafe Theatre, Southwark Playhouse), Cork (Cork Arts Centre), Las Vegas (Onyx Theatre, Las Vegas Little Theatre, Nevada Conservator ...

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