Why Teachers Go Nuts

ABIGAIL ABBYSINIA - An "Old Maid" personified. Humorless, colorless, without imagination or originality. Governs her small world grimly and with vigor. Dressed in a stiff black dress with collar and cuffs.
BULL DURHAM - A bully and consequently a coward dressed in nondescript clothing.
EARNEST E. RUDITE - He is meticulously polite and studiously efficient, carefully groomed and neatly dressed.
FATSO JUMBO TUBBY TERWILLIGER - An overstuffed glutton with a one track mind directly connected with his digestive system who overflows his clothing in all directions.
SKINNAY SMITH - A lanky lad whose wrists have grown too fast for his coat and whose shins have long since parted with the bottom of his trousers.
WEARY WILLIE WHITE - The All American Standing-Sitting-Sleeping Champion. He yawns incessantly and sleeps intermittently, and looks as if he has slept in his clothes. 
CARY CORNTASSEL - A rube type, dressed in patched up overalls. He is not very bright in his studies, but isn't bothered or aware of it.
PERCY PRETTYBOY - A self-conscious clothes-horse. Beautifully dressed with matching manners. He is disdainful of his classmates but very conscious of his female classmates.
TUFFY TUKES - A wholehearted roughneck who is rough in dress, manner and nature. He reads into the most innocent remarks as an invitation to battle.
LULUBELLE LOLLIPOP - A perfect running mate for Percy and their consequent felicity in each other's company is quite understandable.
TOMBOY TOOTS - A harum-scarum hoyden who doesn't permit an oversight of nature in not creating her a boy to worry her in the least.
BASHFUL BETTY - A shy, small girl born with her finger in her mouth. Very timid and unobtrusive. Dressed plainly, but neatly in colorless clothing. 
GIGGLY GOON - Constantly giggling at the slightest provocation, but can take care of herself in combat and gladly goes into the fray when the opportunity comes her way. Dresses "cutely" in a starched dress with bows at her waist and in her hair.
SUSIE SIMPER  - Well dressed and pretty, a simpering sap.
PEACHES PRIMPER - Well dressed and pretty, and primeval primper.