Full Length Play, Comedy / 3m, 3f
Little white lies create mistaken identities and chaos in this enchanting love story. A new farce by the authors of Sex Please, We're Sixty!
Joan Scheller lives with the great love of her life, Sandy. In an effort to hide their relationship from her overbearing sister-in-law, the former movie star Olivia St. Claire, she introduces him as her psychiatrist. One little white lie leads to another. Before long, Vinny the Enforcer, a quintessential Italian mobster, masquerades as her security guard, while her son, Chris, is forced to wear a dress and become her daughter Christina. Further complications occur when her new neighbor, Rachael, whose life appears to be a series of catastrophes, creates chaos and confusion wherever she goes. “The Doctor” is in. Has Joan created a monster? Everyone wants a session. Olivia wants to discuss her love life, Rachael wants to know why she’s such a disaster, and Vinny wants to discuss his work as an “Enforcer.” Sandy is forced to listen and give misguided advice, which, to everyone’s surprise, seems to work. But what about love? Of course there’s Joan and Sandy, if they can survive Joan’s white lies; then there’s Rachael, who is strongly attracted to Chris, if he can survive her mayhem. Finally, there’s Olivia, who hires Vinny away from the mob to be her personal security guard (with benefits?).
"Comical twists and turns." - Vanguard Newspaper
"...solid, light-hearted fun, and often that's just what the doctor ordered." - The Column Reviews
- Minimum Fee: $90 per performance
- Time Period: Present Day
- Duration: 90 minutes
- Setting: Joan’s Suburban Home….anywhere in the world
- Additional Features: Physical Comedy
- Features / Contains: Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes
JOAN SCHELLER - (Age 45+): A middle-aged widow, she lives with her former gardener, Sandy. She is unconventional and free spirited. She doesn’t seem to care what others think of her, except her sister-in-law Olivia who seems to dominate her in some strange way. In fact, she and Sandy grow small amounts of marijuana for their personal recreational use in a white washed green house, they call the “potting shed”. Neither her son Chris, nor Olivia, are aware of Joan’s penchant for marijuana, or her relationship with Sandy. As Joan interacts with each of the characters, she is quick thinking and resourceful. Her seemingly innocent white lies create chaos and confusion throughout the play.
SANDY - (Age 45+): An easy going, mild mannered guy who appears to be in love with Joan. He was in fact her gardener, who began working for her after her husband died. At the very beginning of the play, Sandy and Joan are kissing on the couch, when Olivia arrives unexpectedly and almost catches them. Joan, afraid of Olivia’s disapproval, introduces Sandy, as Dr. Gardener her psychiatrist, and explains they were simply having a session. Joan has left him no choice but to go along with her deception. Little does he realize that he will be in great demand as a psychiatrist for the rest of the play.
VINNY “THE ENFORCER” - (40+) Age : The quintessential Italian mobster. He dresses like one, he talks like one, and he carries, in a concealed shoulder holster, a magnum 45, which he does not hesitate to show to everyone. He is looking for Joan’s son, Chris, who has accumulated considerable gambling debts and who is now on the run from the mob. Although he appears tough, we later learn this is all bluff and bluster as he turns out to be sensitive pussy-cat. He has a rough, “New Jersey” accent.
OLIVIA ST. CLAIRE - (Age 40+): Joan’s sister-in-law. A wealthy, aging movie star, who never enters a room, but always “makes an entrance.” A well meaning, but overbearing woman, she asserts her authority upon everyone, especially Joan, whom she sees as weak and incapable of taking care of herself, since her husband’s death. Joan, embarrassed to let Olivia know that her son is in debt to the mob, creates yet another deception, and introduces Vinny as her security guard. Olivia appears to be quite taken with the rough and street smart Vinny.
RACHAEL- (Age 20+): Joan’s new neighbor. She seems to live in her own world, constantly being nosey and taking liberties. She continually refers to disastrous incidents in her life and we soon see why they happened. With her flighty demeanor and malapropisms, you’re left to wonder how she ever survives in life. She is, however, a sweet, thoughtful, and kind woman.
CHRIS - (Age 20+): Joan’s son is on the run from the mob. He is seemingly out of work, and living a care free life. He does not seem to take his situation very seriously. Joan, however, takes it extremely seriously and, fearful for his safety, persuades him to masquerade as her daughter, Christina. Later in the play, we discover that he, in fact, works for the FBI as an undercover agent.
- Ensemble cast
Love, Lies, and the Doctor's Dilemma premiered at Ed Fletcher's Early Bird Dinner Theatre in Clearwater, FL in May 2016 under the direction of Toby Manion.