Confessions of a Dirty Blonde

A SAMUEL FRENCH, INC. TITLE

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Cast Size

2w, 6m
Duration

120 minutes (2 hours)
Subgenre

Farce
Target Audience

Adult

Details

Summary

Get out the boxer shorts, wigs and size ten pumps! The masters of modern farce are back with an outrageously zany comedy. The year is 1962. Living legend Lillian Lamour, a Mae West like sex siren, comes out of seclusion for a one night tribute at Carnegie Hall. While recreating her famous 1933 Time Magazine cover, a lion bites her world famous derriere exposing, among other things, that she is a he. Now Hollywood's best kept secret will be revealed unless Lillian's press agent can put a lid on things. Neither the gangster crooner ex boyfriend nor Lillian's wallflower daughter is aware of the truth, but the hotel doctor knows and can't convince anyone else. This screwball comedy in the tradition of the Marx Brothers is a scream.

History

Confessions of a Dirty Blonde was first performed at the Henderson Theatre in Lioncroft, New Jersey, on May 17, 1996. It was directed by Glenn Casale and produced by Mark Fleming.

Cast Attributes

Keywords

Performing Groups

LILLIAN LAMOUR - the greatest sex symbol the world has ever known
CHICK LIPTON - her press agent, a bit high strung
JOEY BURROWS - a forty year old bellboy
RITA LAM OUR - the greatest sex symbol's daughter
RUSSELL BROCADE - hotel concierge at the Hotel Carlyle
DR. DUBEL - the cigarette-smoking hotel doctor
JOHNNY TORENADO - a washed-up crooner, Lillian's ex-boyfriend
OFFICER FOUCET - pronounced Foo-say

"The play makes reference to a live lion.
Lions are costly, unpredictable and, in case you didn't know,
carnivores.
We suggest using a guy/girl/dog in a lion suit. If, however, you do have the money, trainers and thickskinned
actors, by all means use a live one." - The Authors

Time Period 1960s
Setting A suite at the Hotel Carlyle in New York City, circa 1962
Features Period Costumes
Additional Features Physical Comedy, Play w/ Music, Drag Performance
Duration 120 minutes (2 hours)
Cautions
- Mild Adult Themes
- Smoking

Media

"What a blast! What a hoot! What a rollicking good time!"- Advocate, Maine

"If you are in the mood for a funny, nutty night of theater, you couldn't do better than to see Confessions of a Dirty Blonde." -News Eagle, Pennsylvania

"I just couldn't stop laughing!"- Pittsburgh City Paper

"A must-see! Hilarious? You bet!" - Asbury Park Press

"Riddled with fun, puns, pratfalls, and plenty of farce. A screwball comedy in the tradition of the Marx Bros." - The Courier

"A scream! Vintage Van Zandt-Milmore. For that - the zaniness, the split second timing, the instinct for the comic jugular - let us give thanks!" - Two River Times, New Jersey

"A must-see! Think of it as the Marx Bros. with saltier dialogue." - South Pittsburgh Reporter

"Doors slamming, people yelling, mistaken identities, misunderstood language, a tight deadline, men in dresses, and slightly naughty jokes – all the ingredients of a great farce are found in Confessions of a Dirty Blonde. Great summer fare!" - Weekly Recorder

Music

Musical Style N/A (Not a musical)

Licensing & Materials

Minimum Fee: $110 per performance

Scripts

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Ticketing

Authors

Billy Van Zandt

Billy Van Zandt and his writing partner, the late Jane Milmore, are two of the most often produced playwrights in the world. Together for 46 years, they wrote and starred in 23 plays together, including the international hit comedy You’ve Got Hate Mail; off-Broadway’s tribute ...

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Jane Milmore

Jane Milmore began her career as an actress. After starring in several national TV commercials, she appeared in the TV shows Anything But Love and Sydney, as well as guest-starring on Bless This House, Newhart, Martin, The Hughleys, and The Wayans Bros. Jane also appeared in ...

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Confessions of a Dirty Blonde