I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever

by  William Boswell, Joyce Stoner, Karen Johnson

Musical Revue / Cabaret, Comedy  /  3m, 3f

"Tonic effect is marvelous. Fresh as a daisy, sharp as a tack and as funny as it is fast." - The New York Times.
Six hopeful actors audition to be in a musical revue in New York City at the original Improvisation comedy club.

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  • Cast Size

    Cast Size

    3m, 3f
  • Duration


    90 minutes
  • SubGenre


    Parody / Spoof
  • Accolades


    From Off-Broadway
  • Audience

    Target Audience

    • Appropriate for all audiences

Additional Info

Sometimes called "the junior Chorus Line" this is the story of six hopeful actors auditioning to be in a musical revue in New York City at the original Improvisation comedy club.

'The Roommate Beguine,' 'My Place or Yours' and 'I Hate Football,' consider romantic dilemmas, and the group effort, 'Where Would We Be Without Perverts' indicates that the town would lose its color without 'em.

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"The six personable singers march in wearing evening garb.  They then become auditioners for a show-within-a-show, simulating two theatre innocents, a couple of roommates, and an unlucky married couple.  Before the show ends, they and Miss Stoner have merrily satirized the aches, pains and dreams of young theater hopefuls, sidelined by love and sex and the everyday theatre of life in New York and more... The tonic effect is marvelous. Fresh as a daisy, sharp as a tack and as funny as it is fast, this 90-minute show is the best mini-musical in town" - The New York Times

"The subject matter takes digs at this neighborhood in which the cafe is located and takes a look at present morals and mores and finds both worthy of comment." - Variety

"Wholesome and charming and thoroughly good natured ... clever." - New York Daily News.

"She'll come up with lines like 'roommate, dustpan-and-broommate' and she'll rhyme 'coinage' with 'sirloinage' . . .  Sweet as a kiss on the first date." - New York Post

"The show was bright and breezy and the closest New York has come to having a socially conscious revue" - Saturday Review

"Joyce Stoner is a lady of formidable musical and comedic talents, and she has effrectively channeled these gifts by writing a bright and kaleidoscopically funny revue entitled I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever... This insouciant look at show business, politics and the changing mores of our times is a keen frolic. . . . Even Christopher Day Marches can't compete with the effectivenes of the disarming number 'It's Great to be Gay,' and New York living is beautifully summed up in the witty 'Joys of Manhattan Life.'" - After Dark


Performing Groups

  • College Theatre / Student
  • Community Theatre
  • Dinner Theatre
  • Professional Theatre
  • Shoestring Budget
  • Blackbox / Second Stage /Fringe Groups


  • Caution Mild Adult Mild Adult Themes

License details

  • Licensing fees and rental materials quoted upon application.



  • Time Period: 1970s
  • Duration: 90 minutes
  • Setting: Designed for a small stage - six actors can just fit in a line beside the piano. Each of the six actors has two costumes - black tie and evening dresses and then street/audition clothes appropriate to the 1970s. The original set featured six three-dimensional letters that formed the word "REVUE" and were used as stools, etc.
  • Additional Features: Not Applicable
  • Features / Contains: Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes, Period Costumes


  • Musical Style: Classic Broadway
  • Vocal Demands: Moderate
  • Orchestra Size: Piano Only
  • Chorus Size: No Chorus


3m, 3f
GABRIELLE SCHWARTZ - a clueless hopeful who carries a guitar and has written an inappropriate country-western-type song for her audition; the accompaniment is actually played on her tape recorder
HEATHER O'MALLEY - a more experienced actress who lives with her gay friend Dan Craig
JONATHAN WINSLOW - a hopeful from the Midwest; all smiles and a suitcase with all the contents stolen except his tap shoes.
TED THORNTON and JENETTE MORRISON - uncomfortably married and often feeling that they jinx each other at auditions
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Cast Attributes

  • Ensemble cast


Rehearsal Resources

Music Material Rental Packages Glyphs / UI / Tooltip

Full Package

Piano/Conductor Score

Available Services



William Boswell

William Boswell

Joyce Stoner

Joyce Stoner

Karen Johnson

Karen Johnson

I'll Die If I Can't Live Forever opened Off-Broadway at The Improvisation in New York City on October 31, 1974. It was directed by Joyce Stoner.

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