ROB BREWSTER- early 30s and simply gorgeous to look at; a struggling writer, fast-talking and oozing with charm, convinced he is the only sane man left on earth
JIMMY CARMICHAEL - late 20s, early 30s; a starving actor by way of being an atrocious actor; is so earnest and dedicated that you want to see him succeed; best pals and roommates with Rob
MAX BLAKE - mid-20s, dumber than the dumbest dumb blonde; also a brunette; lives in her own world of logic, but she tries, works four times as hard as anyone else and is still behind; adorable and sexy, child-like and fragile, but very strong-willed and manipulative underneath
ROBERT BREWSTER III - 50s, an overbearing, pompous millionaire; has time only for crippling businesses and chasing women, too busy for his wife and son; reeks of money, dresses impeccably
JANET BREWSTER - 50s, a scatterbrained society wife; loves her son but never sees him nor speaks with him; subservient and repressed, hasn't used her mind in years; looks the typical dowager
CHUCK MURDOCK- 30s, the jack ass from next door; psychotically jealous of his ex-wife, who dates Jimmy, but is nevertheless a buffoon; a tennis pro
MAUREEN - early 30s, a nymphomaniac; was married to Chuck but left him for obvious reasons; possessive and jealous, currently trained on poor Jimmy; totally innocent and naive, tries to please; a beautiful blonde with great legs
UNCLE HAROLD - the ultimate hypochondriac, a big fat sweating man in his late 50s; an obvious case of nepotism, being Robert's Vice President; wears a bow tie