Night of the Living Beauty Pageant

by  Tim Kelly

Full Length Play, Comedy  /  9m, 13f

An outrageous spoof of teenage beauty pageants. Two hucksters, Joe Allen and Steve Bentley, decide to stage a Miss Junior Venus Beauty Pageant in order to attract sponsors and hundreds of high school lovelies who'll pay a large entry fee to make them rich...

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Night of the Living Beauty Pageant

by  Tim Kelly

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  • Cast Size

    Cast Size

    9m, 13f
  • Duration

    Duration

    90 minutes
  • SubGenre

    Subgenre

    Parody / Spoof
  • Audience

    Target Audience

    • Adult
    • Senior
    • Teen (Age 14 - 18)

Additional Info

An outrageous spoof of teenage beauty pageants. Two hucksters, Joe Allen and Steve Bentley, decide to stage a Miss Junior Venus Beauty Pageant in order to attract sponsors and hundreds of high school lovelies who'll pay a large entry fee to make them rich. Unfortunately, only seven girls enter, and there are no sponsors. Complicating matters, theatre owner Mrs. Hoopway tries to evict them, and Knuckles Skinner, a menacing thug, wants to harm them bodily! Our heroes spend most of their time either running or hiding in this good-natured farce carnival filled with goofy characters: Lois Del Monaco, who won local fame playing Romeo in a Little Theatre production; Pippi Wrongstocking, who harbors a curious secret; George, the always-smiling weatherman; and the judges Rose Bowl and Penny Loafer, straight from waitressing at Mumbles Fast Food Coffee Shop. The lunatic action and slapstick plot gets funnier and funnier, with the actual pageant as the finale, complete with an outlandish talent show. Amazingly, everything turns out okay. The no-problem set is a snap, and the staging is simple. Many of the small roles may be managed with only a couple of rehearsals. This is one night's entertainment that will keep you laughing!

From the author of The Butler Did It and The Amazing Adventures of Dan Daredevil

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Considerations

Performing Groups

  • High School/Secondary
  • College Theatre / Student
  • Community Theatre
  • Professional Theatre

License details

  • Minimum Fee: $75 per performance

Production

Details

  • Time Period: Present Day
  • Duration: 90 minutes
  • Setting: The stage of the "All-New Uptown Theatre," downtown in a Midwest City. The present.
  • Features / Contains: Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes

Music

  • Musical Style: N/A (Not a musical)
  • Vocal Demands: N/A (Not a musical)
  • Chorus Size: N/A (Not a musical)

Casting

9m, 13f
MISS BETTER HEALTH - beauty pageant contestant. 
MISS CRANBERRY BOG - another. 
MISS WILDLIFE - another. 
SHERI PAGE - pageant official, Joe's sister. 
MISS INDUSTRY - another pageant contestant. 
MISS SEASHORE ("POLLY") - another. 
STEVE BENTLEY - pageant producer, always one step from disaster.
JOE ALLEN - more of the same. 
MELBA - cleaning woman, sarcastic. 
MUMBLES - fast food merchant. 
GAIL ANDERSON - police sargeant, undercover. 
SONIA - police cadet, another contestant. 
MRS. HOOPWAY - owns the theatre, a dragon. 
RICK - works for public access television. 
DEE-DEE - Rick's female work partner. 
LOIS DEL MONACO - dreams of stardom, strange girl. 
PIPPI WRONGSTOCKING - another contestant, from Sweden. 
CHAD - her brother. 
DEPUTY SCOTT - handy with eviction notices. 
KUNCKLES SKINNER - gangster, very threatening. 
CUDDLES O'BOYLE - Knuckles' girlfriend. 
FINGERS - Knuckles' nervous henchman. 
MRS. GEORGIA HOPKINS - formerly Greta Swan, a stage mother. 
GEORGE VINCENT - weatherman, all smiles. 
PENNY LOAFER - waitress. 
ROSE BOWL - another. 
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Cast Attributes

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  • Room for Extras

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Authors

Tim Kelly

Kelly was born in Saugus, Massachusetts on October 2, 1932. He graduated from Emerson College with a bachelor's degree and received a masters degree in play-writing from Yale University. His first stage play was Widow's Walk, published in the 1960s. At the same time, three of his plays opened: A Darker Flo ...

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