Overview
Mr. Stancliffe, the owner of a vast fortune, and a two hundred
thousand acre Texas ranch has died. His long time butler, Jarvis, and
the maid, Melody, along with Mr. Stancliffe’s niece and only living
relative Patrice, are there for the reading of the will by the family
lawyer, Mr. Oakfield. Strangely, a Miss Tammy-Jo Harper, from the
neighboring ranch, has also been invited! As expected, Patrice inherits
the estate, with one clause, Jarvis may live out his life on the ranch,
and Patrice may not sell it without Jarvis’s permission. After the
presentation of the will, a Mary Lou Winston unexpectedly arrives. She
is a dowdy ornithologist, (or is she?), who is doing research for her
masters on woodpecker preservation. She requests to spend the night at
the ranch, as her campsite has been rained out. Jarvis, has one other
surprise for Patrice.
Acting on instructions from Mr. Stancliffe,
he produces from the safe a formula, and a sample of what appears to be
a love potion. Mr. Stancliffe wills 25% of the shares to Patrice, 25%
to Michael, and 50% to Jarvis. But this is a love potion with a
difference. Made from the bark of the Brazilian walnut tree from
"Amazonia," it does not affect the person who drinks it. Rather, this
powerful aphrodisiac causes them to give off an almost imperceptible
odor, which affects the vomeronasal organ of the opposite sex, with
devastating effect.
Can it really work? It has the potential to
be worth billions. Before long everyone is testing it with hilarious
results. The audience, at first convinced that it works, is then
persuaded it doesn’t, and is finally left in doubt about both theories.
Through all of this confusion, Michael and Patrice connive to acquire
the rights to the love potion from Jarvis, by trading his shares for the
forty million dollar ranch.
PATRICE: We’d like you, just for a short while to act as though Jarvis was absolutely irresistible to you. Can you do it?
TAMMY-JO: Piece of cake! Men are all easy.
MICHAEL: What do you mean men are all easy?[...]
TAMMY-JO:
Listen, women may want a reason to have sex, but men just need a place.
Anyway, don’t tell me men have never used sex to get what they want.
MICHAEL: How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want.
Only in the last 30 seconds of the play is the surprising truth revealed to the audience.