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Don't Hug Me - Full Length Musical, Comedy

Don't Hug Me

Phil Olson, Paul Olson

Customer Rating: starstarstarstarstar (Rate this!)

Full Length Musical, Comedy

3m, 2f

ISBN: 9780573632310

Book and Lyrics by Phil Olson
Music by Paul Olson
"A hokey jokey karaoke crowd pleaser!" - Los Angeles Times
"A loopy Valentine!" - Back Stage West
It's Fargo meets The Music Man (without the blood or the trombones). Oh, for cryin' in yer snow shoes! It's the coldest day of the year in Bunyan Bay when a slick karaoke salesman arrives at the bar and turns the locals' lives upside down.
: Acting Edition
: Large Print
: Stage Manager

Licensing fees and rental materials quoted upon application.


Full Length Musical


Romantic Comedy

120 minutes (2 hours)

Time Period - Present Day

Settings Of Play - A little bar in northern Minnesota. On the walls are stuffed animals, stuffed fish and beer signs. Photos of the original set can be seen on www.DontHugMe.com. Costuming is simple. North woods flannel shirts, jeans, sturdy shoes or boots.


Interior Set

Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes


No Special Cautions


Appropriate for all audiences


Community Theatre, Dinner Theatre, Professional Theatre, Shoestring Budget, Large Stage

It's Fargo meets The Music Man (without the blood or the trombones).

Oh, for cryin' in yer snow shoes! It's the coldest day of the year in Bunyan Bay when a slick karaoke salesman arrives at the bar and turns the locals' lives upside down. With its over the top songs and crazy characters, this Minnesota love story with singin' and stuff will have you laughing until the spring thaw!

Don't Hug Me takes place in Bunyan Bay, Minnesota. Cantankerous bar owner, Gunner Johnson, wants to sell the business and move to Florida. Clara, his wife and former Winter Carnival Bunyan Queen, wants to stay. Bernice Lundstrom, the pretty waitress, wants to pursue a singing career. Her fiance, Kanute Gunderson, wants her to stay home. It's a battle of wills, and when a fast-talking salesman, Aarvid Gisselsen, promises to bring romance into their lives through the 'magic' of karaoke, all heck breaks loose!

Featuring the songs, "I'm a Walleye Woman in a Crappie Town," "My Smorgasbord of Love," "Upside Down in My Pickup Truck," and "I Wanna Go to the Mall of America."

Only 5 characters, a simple set, and it doesn't require a band, Don't Hug Meis very inexpensive to produce.


"A hokey-jokey karaoke crowd pleaser!" - Los Angeles Times

"A quirky, charming musical!" - Joel Zwick, Director of My Big Fat Greek Wedding

"A lot of laughs!... A great time!... Go see it!" - Tom Barnard, KQRS

"The funniest show I've seen in the longest time!" - KPFK Radio

"A loopy Valentine!" - Back Stage West

"The quintessential definition of fun!" - KLBB Radio

"A love letter...to Minnesota!" - Sherman Oaks Sun

"Delightful! Adorable! Silly! Funny!" - Valley Vantage

"Terrifically Silly!" - LA Weekly

"Outstanding!"- American Eagle News

"More than the typical hotdish musical review!" - Minneapolis Star Tribune


Don’t Hug Us, We’re Brothers
by Phil Olsen and Paul Olsen
April 30, 2012

Don't Hug Me was first produced by Dan Hirsch at the Whitefire Theatre in Los Angeles, California, in November 2003. It was directed by Paul Kreppel. Don't Hug Me was subsequently produced by Olson Brothers' Entertainment at Hennepin Stages in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in September 2004. It was directed by Peter Moore.



3m, 2f


Ensemble cast


No Chorus

CLARA JOHNSON - Gunner's wife, strong willed co-owner of a bar called "The Bunyan," has been married to Gunner for a long time
GUNNER JOHNSON - Clara's husband, strong willed co-owner of The Bunyan, s north woods Archie Bunker
BERNICE LUNDSTROM - pretty, young, dreamy waitress at The Bunyan
AARVJD GISSELSEN - slick, fast-talking Karaoke salesman, a north woods "Music Man"
KANUTE GUNDERSON - oblivious, full-of-himself business owner
Rental Materials


Piano Only


Classic Broadway, Pop/Rock, Jazz, Country/Western, Folk



6 Piano/Vocal Scores

Performance/Rehearsal CD

Performance Tracks required for production.  

Song Samples

The Ice House Blues

I'm a Walleye Woman in a Crappie Town

My Smorgasbord of Love

I'm the One the Only One For You

Bunyan Bay in the Summertime

Upside Down in My Pickup Truck

I Wanna go to the Mall of America

Take a Chance

That Dirty Piece of...

The Bunyan Yodel

He Wore a Purple Tux

You're My Woman

Victim Of My Y Chromosome

Little Ernie Eelpout

Last Night I Dreamed

The Bunyan Yodel (Reprise)

Phil Olson

Phil Olson

Phil Olson grew up in Edina, Minnesota, home of the first indoor mall. His father’s grandparents came over from Norway and homesteaded a farm north of Fargo, North Dakota. His mother’s grandparents also came over from Norway and ended up in Virginia, Minnesota; the iron range. Mr. Olson played varsity football, basketball, and track at Edina East High School, winning the Minnesota State High ... view full profile

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Marge Baldwin 7/2/2013 6:10 PM
This was the first musical for our fledgling group. It was so well received by the community, we plan on doing one of the sequels this fall. So much fun. I'd like to give it a sixth star.

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